For you local school people who had exams recently, here's what you could have done to guarantee a FAIL.
1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
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2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.
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3. Bring a PSP. Play with the volume at max level.
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4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question.
For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
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5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off. .
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6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas."
If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one.
Repeat this process every 15 min.
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7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
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8. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you. nuts?
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9. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.
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10. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.
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11. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.
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12. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.
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13. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour)
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14. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.
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15. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
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16. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.
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17. Try to get people in the room to do a mexican wave.
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18. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E...."
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19. Fake an orgasm. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #__ moved you, deeply.
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20. If the answers are on a scantron sheet, fill it out in pen.
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and the one that's sure to get you kicked out:
...Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect..
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this is only for fun, do not attempt to reenact any of the above mentioned. Hannah will not be held responsible for any disqualifications or injury or limb-loss.
