WARNING!

season 5 'sort-of' spoilers. just the better quotes from the first episode.

i havent watched any of this season yet. i kinda ruined it for myself. or i could blame wikiquotes...

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Dying Changes Everything (5.01)
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Dr. Cuddy: When was the last time you talked to him?
Dr. House: I think it was after... when did his girlfriend die? He wanted time alone I considered being a horrendous pain in the ass but I didn't want to step on your turf.
Dr. Foreman: We just got a call from Patty Mishner from Womens majority, the womens rights...
Dr. Cuddy: We know who she is.
Dr. House: I dated her. Well not really dated her more metaphorically raped her by having a penis. [To Foreman] You did too.
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Wilson: I just need a change of scenery.
House: Buy a plant!

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[Cuddy forces Wilson and House to discuss their relationship]
Dr. Cuddy: Talk to each other.
Dr. House: [turns to Wilson]... How you doing? Good?
Dr. Wilson: Fine, thanks.
[Both try to leave]
Dr. Cuddy: Ehh-ehh-ehh-ehh! Sit!
[Both return to the sofa]
Dr. Cuddy: See? The two of you are friends. Look how you both...
Dr. House: ... think you're an idiot. We both also eat with forks. That doesn't really prove...
Dr. Cuddy: Talk to him! Tell him how you feel of what he's doing.
Dr. House: I told him he's an idiot.
Dr. Cuddy: Tell him what you think about him leaving.
Dr. House: I think he's an idiot.
Dr. Cuddy: You're an idiot: he's in pain, and your response is just to emotionally blackmail him!
Dr. House: You told me what your position is on that one. You're against it, right?
Dr. Wilson: She hasn't told you in front of me. She needs to prove she's on my side.
Dr. Cuddy: [referring to Wilson] Go to hell!
Dr. House: So much for that theory.